My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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