It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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