So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
FUCK WHALES
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
