Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
