I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
