Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize