found the other keg... it's in the tree
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
