is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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