I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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