Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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