Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
