Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
