I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
