I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
