i just made my gag reflex go away.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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