I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
