I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
