The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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