I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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