We got so high we made milksteak
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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