Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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