am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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