Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize