dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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