I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
