Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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