First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
