Quick, to the slutcave!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
