why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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