My boss' voice literally gives me gas
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
