I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
