Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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