Hey man sorry I got all grabby
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize