well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
