I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
