Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Say something about gay babies.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
