Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
