I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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