just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
