how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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