i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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