Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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