I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
