So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
