it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
