I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize