Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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