what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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