Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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