It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
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She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
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To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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