If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
