she was so not down for the gang bang
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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