Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
