maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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