a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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