Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize