i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
