i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
