oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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