:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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