I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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